Barsexuality is the new black.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You are a genius and a whore.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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