ya dads aren't the best wingmen
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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