they need to just BURY HIM!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
