we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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