I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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