he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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