today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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