I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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