I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
