Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
