erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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