Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
