Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
