it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
