No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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