Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
