Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
