I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
