it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
