I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
