Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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