Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
