i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
