I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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