How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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