fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
