I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
