So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
