i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
