A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
