if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
