next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
