literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
