She is in my trunk
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i drank out of a bidet.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
