Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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