Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
