Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
