"it" just moved
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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