is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
