fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
