The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
