at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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