need another drink. this is the easiest way
You're so nebulous sometimes
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
