What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
