need another drink. this is the easiest way
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
