Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
