Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
my liver is dry heaving
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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