So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
