I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
