It's like God shit irony all over that family
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
